Gordon is actually the third surname I've used in my lifetime – the second that I've married into – although, I didn’t formally take the name when I took the man five years ago.
I changed my name the first time I married simply because I wanted my name to be the same as any future children, not to please anyone else or to conform to traditional norms. This second time around, I had more to consider, and I needed time to make the decision for myself.
My first married name, Haigh – though hard for most to spell and pronounce – had been the name I’d worn for longer than even my maiden name, Hunt. It was also the surname of my still unmarried - though grown-up - children, and the name assigned to all my previous written work. I simply wasn’t ready to relinquish the name I’d grown accustomed to, quite yet.
I knew that my new husband, Doug, hoped that I’d take his name, and Christmas and birthday cheques from my sweet new mother-in-law indicated that she thought a name change was automatic once the ink dried on the marriage license; so, while I contemplated their traditional attitudes, I also carefully considered what would be best for me in the long run.
Five short years later, I eventually came to the conclusion that changing my surname to Gordon was what I wanted to do; so, this past December, I secretly renewed my driver’s license and health card in my newly adopted name, as a surprise for my patient husband.
I’m glad I took my time making this significant decision. I take comfort knowing that Nancy Gordon is the name I chose, and I know it’s a name I’ll wear with pride.
Please find below, my first poem - a Rondeau - written as
Nancy Gordon:
